December 2011
2 tags
fuckyeahgirlcrush:
origami-beards:
fuckyeahgirlcrush replied to your post: I TOLD MY MOM I WOULD BLAME HER FOR MY OBESITY
oh my god the santa hat on mimerz THE SANTA HAT
CHRISTMAS MIMERZ
CHRISTMIMERZ
MIMERZANTA CLAUS
ALL OF IT.
MIMERZ THE ELF WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR
fuckyeahgirlcrush replied to your post: I TOLD MY MOM I WOULD BLAME HER FOR MY OBESITY
oh my god the santa hat on mimerz THE SANTA HAT
CHRISTMAS MIMERZ
CHRISTMIMERZ
MIMERZANTA CLAUS
ALSO ALL OF THE DAMAGE TO THE CAR WASHED OFF WITH...
AND WHEN I TOLD MOM THAT SHE DIDN’T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE THAT I SAID ANYTHING
AWESOME
GLAD YOU’RE HANDLING THIS WITH MATURITY
I TOLD MY MOM I WOULD BLAME HER FOR MY OBESITY
BECAUSE SHE WON’T LET ME DRIVE TO THE GYM
I’M GOING TO GO TAKE A DUMP IN HER BED
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-blackdog:
I have acquired all necessary skills to be black now where do I sign up
We type "input". We say "imput".
luckyshirt:
And everyone just pretends it’s not happening.
k-nock:
Make a man a sandwich, feed him for a day. Make a man into a sandwich, what have you done you monster.
3 tags
Kori: What time does JoAnn's Fabrics close?
Isaiah: Why do you need to go to JoAnn's?
Kori: Because I'm a crafty motherfucker.
November 2011
THERE'S THIS REALLY SWEET GIRL IN MY LAB
HER NAME IS NOUSHIN
SHE IS AWESOME
WHY CAN’T I WORK WITH HER
VIOLETA DOESN’T UNDERSTAND MY JOKES
=”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””(
5 tags
31401:
the worst part of textbooks is that there’s no ctrl+f
here's my question
why doesn’t kurt just lie on his college application
no one cares
this is real life
SO LAST WEEK I OVERDRAFTED ON MY DEBIT CARD...
maryymack:
origami-beards:
AND PUT ENOUGH MONEY IN MY ACCOUNT TO PAY THE OVERDRAFT PENALTY, BUT NOTHING HAS HAPPENED
I THINK THEIR POLICY IS TO FORGIVE THE FIRST OVERDRAFT OR SOMETHING BUT NONE OF THAT IS EXPLICITLY STATED IN ANY OF THE PAPERWORK THEY GAVE ME OR WEB INFO THEY HAVE
FUCKING M&T MAN
I ALMOST WANT TO KILL MY ACCOUNT AND OPEN ONE AT WELLS FARGO
DUDE. I HAVE WELLS FARGO....
SO LAST WEEK I OVERDRAFTED ON MY DEBIT CARD...
AND PUT ENOUGH MONEY IN MY ACCOUNT TO PAY THE OVERDRAFT PENALTY, BUT NOTHING HAS HAPPENED
I THINK THEIR POLICY IS TO FORGIVE THE FIRST OVERDRAFT OR SOMETHING BUT NONE OF THAT IS EXPLICITLY STATED IN ANY OF THE PAPERWORK THEY GAVE ME OR WEB INFO THEY HAVE
FUCKING M&T MAN
I ALMOST WANT TO KILL MY ACCOUNT AND OPEN ONE AT WELLS FARGO
1 tag
i could eat kit kats forever
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1 tag
Words with Break Rooms
Me: (to everyone) Why can't blondes use computers?
Everyone: ...
Me: ...
Someone: I'm blonde.
Me: I see that.
Everyone: ...
Me: Come on. Why can't blondes use computers?
Someone: Ugh. Why not?
Me: Because the techs are re-imaging them until two.
Everyone: ...
Me: ...
Someone: I don't get it.
Me: Nobody can use the computers until two.
Someone: Why did you say blondes?
Me: Because blondes can't use the computers until two.
Someone: But why...
Someone Else: Because he's always that way.
Someone: So nobody can use them?
Me: ...
“You should date an illiterate girl.
Date a girl who doesn’t read. Find her in...”
– Charles Warnke (via violent-buddhist)
i realized yesterday that my boobs swell on my period
like a surprisingly noticeable amount
this would be a wonderful discovery if it didn’t come with cramps, fatigue, a headache and the ravenous desire to fuck everything
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sadweirdgirlnobodyreallylikes:
I think you could fall in love with anyone if you saw the parts of them that no one else gets to see. Like if you followed them around invisibly for a day and you saw them crying in their bed at night or singing to themselves as they make a sandwich or even just walking along the street and even if they were really weird and had no friends at school, I think after...
nicklugo:
why would you spit on a vagina
2 tags
HEY SO A KID HAD A HANDGUN AT SCHOOL TODAY
AND NOW TOMORROW WE’RE ALL GETTING SEARCHED IN THE MORNING
4 tags
